The Importance of Trust

I was asked to write a short for STAR News, a publication for Law Enforcement Personnel. This piece is on trust.

Any highly successful leader will tell you that the reason they were able to excel in their career, and win the respect of their direct reports, is that they were able to foster an environment of trust. For some this trust came easily, for others it was hard fought and won with time and a proven record. Regardless of the organization you represent, those that look to you as a leader must trust you. If they do not, you will fail as a leader, if they do there is no limit to the possibilities of success.

The problem? The realities of our culture and the many examples of broken trust place the leader in a position where distrust is the norm. For this reason, the leader must make building trust a priority. Trust must be built at all levels to succeed. Allow me to explain.

A man or woman of character builds trust at all levels; those below them, equal to them, and those above. This 360 degree approach comes naturally when one possesses integrity and has the character to respect and honor others.

That mandate to be a 360 degree leader is difficult in Law Enforcement. While it is easy to earn the trust of our superiors and colleagues, it is extremely difficult to earn the trust of the people we serve. While difficult, it is not impossible.

Each of us has a responsibility to earn the trust of others in three specific areas.

First, we must build Interpersonal Trust. Interpersonal trust is build when we keep our word, when our communication with others is civil, respectful and wise. Interpersonal trust is the foot in the door to the development of comprehensive trust. Without it, the other two trust areas are meaningless.

The second area of trust is one of Action or Application. Those we deal with must trust us to do the right thing, regardless of the circumstances. This is most important, especially in our field. We need the trust that we have each other’s back. We must know that one can be counted on when things get crazy. Trust of Action gives others the security that we care for their wellbeing and frees them to care for ours.

The third and final area of trust is Trust in Competency. This third area of trust brings with it a well-rounded relational trust to all parties. It is one thing to know you can trust an individual and their word. A new depth of trust is gained when you can rely on both their word and their deed. Comprehensive trust happens when you can trust their word, their deed, and their competency to accomplish what they set out to do. Competency instills trust. It is the capstone of the trio of trust.

While this triple trust relation is applicable to business, family and any aspect of life, it is clearly brought to reality with the following law enforcement example.

You have served for years with a fellow deputy that affirms that they will always be there for you. They have always kept their word, affirmed you on the job and encouraged you with their words. You have interpersonal trust! Eventually, you find yourself on the same shift and you roll to the same call. You enter a building with limited visibility, gun drawn, tactical light on, and he or she is right there at your side. You now have Trust of Action and the trust relationship deepens. Finally, the events of the night go south, you take fire. Your partner returns fire, as do you. His or her aim is impeccable and both of you get to go home tonight. You have Trust of Competency!

No matter how you apply trust, no matter the situation, all three areas are necessary to truly be a trustworthy partner. On the street, in the workplace, or most importantly in the home, you must work on trust.

I recently spoke with a newly married couple and grew in my respect for the husband. She had been married before and I admired them both as I heard the wife say: “He tells me he loves me all the time, and he shows me as well. He does the nicest things for me. He let’s me see his love for me. Not only that, he has the ability to love. My first husband, though I think he tried, did not have the ability to love anyone but himself.”

I saw it immediately: Interpersonal Trust, Trust of Action and Trust of Competency, a truly healthy relationship.

For the LORD God is my shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly. O LORD, blessed is the man that trusts in you. (Psalms 84:11-12)

Choosing to Cope or to Live

I was once again asked to write a 400 word piece for Star News, a publication for Law Enforcement Personnel. Here is my latest piece dealing with stress.

We work in a world of extremes. So much so that we are sometimes genuinely surprised, albeit rare, by a day when nothing happens. We need those days. The reality of this job however, is that it can be stressful. Very stressful. Not just for those in the field but for all. How you deal with that stress can determine your ability to cope as well as your longevity. It is interesting how many of us have said that our goal is to make it home. Very few of us have ever said we want to finish well. The first has a forward-looking vision of ten hours, the later looks to the life we will have beyond the career.

If you think about stress management in terms of coping (short term) and longevity (long term) certain important factors become apparent. If you are trying to “cope” you can deal with the temporary effects of stress in harmful ways. If you are looking to last, stress must be handled in productive ways. We must make every effort to deal with our stressors in a way that both helps us cope and builds strength, health and longevity.

Here’s what I mean. Look at the coping factors. Each of them might help you deal with the stresses in the immediate but will have a detrimental effect on the long term.

Short term, harmful, coping mechanisms may include: Overeating (or non-nutritional), alcohol, smoking, extreme activities, or other forms of binging.

These will help you cope, but they will not help you finish well. Consider dealing with stress in positive ways that do both; help you cope and help you last.

Long term, helpful, coping mechanisms may include: Healthy eating, exercise, prayer and meditation, a hobby, and music.

I know one individual that began attending religious services with his wife. He had always thought, “that’s her thing” but soon realized that the comfort, life truths and family unity that he found there did more to curtail his stress than any prior practice. Besides, he became a better person.

Why settle for something to get you through a day when you have the ability to chose something that will get you through life.

As I write, I think of a starving man, frustrated by the fact that he has been living at the side of a lake full of fish but has failed to catch a single one. He is nearly dead from starvation. Meanwhile, a man approaches offering him either a fish, or a fishing pole. With the desperation that only a starving man could understand, he chooses the fish.

HINT: Choose the pole!

Everything with Excellence

(Once again, I was asked to draft a 400 word article for STAR News, a publication for Law Enforcement Personnel. This piece is on excellence.)

A few years back, we purchased a computer desk for my son’s bedroom. The conversation went something like this: “Instructions? Who needs instructions? I know exactly how to do it, and don’t need a piece of paper to put it all together. I surely don’t need anyone looking over my shoulder as I do it. Trust me, I’ve got it handled.”

You can imagine my wife’s amusement after it was all said and done, and it looked pretty good, but there were four bolts, several nuts, and a couple of wood dowels left over. The conversation shifted from the confident boasting to a less-than-confident self-assurance: “Those must be extra parts… Anyway, it looks perfect. I am sure it will be just fine.”

Life is much like that day of building furniture. Full of opportunities to shortcut our actions without anyone knowing and ripe with the ability to make things look perfect though we know they are not. The reality is that we can get by with those behaviors for some time. In fact, we could live there if we wanted to. But the hard reality, especially for our sworn personnel, is that we can die there as well.

Aside from the fact that each of us should take delight in a job well done, it is the right thing to do. Doing everything with excellence makes us complete and allows us to work and live with a confidence and assurance that surpasses our colleagues. It allows us to stand above the rest. Whether it is with promotion in mind, or just living right, living a life free of shortcuts assures the professionalism and excellence that our department (and more importantly, our family) expects. We lead by example and doing things right establishes our leadership.

The scriptures admonish us to do everything with excellence. God himself realizes that a life of excellence makes us complete. I also believe it keeps us from danger. In the apostle Paul’s letter to the Colossians he writes:

And whatever you do, do it with excellence, as unto the Lord, and not unto men.

Remember to wear your badge with the pride of a job well done. Whether it be the badge titled Mom, Dad, Husband, Wife, Friend, Partner, Deputy or simply the badge title Human Being, do not let that badge become tarnished with a life filled with shortcuts.