Lessons from Hawaii

Lava Tube Entry I was once again asked to write a short piece for Star News, a publication for law enforcement. This article will be published August 2011.

Life has a funny way of touching you at the strangest moments. If you miss those moments they will be lost forever, but if you find a moment of clarity within them they may just provide you with a moment of growth. I am writing this about three hours after one of those moments. You see, I have an absolute passion for Scuba Diving. There are very few things I have a passion for: Family, Faith, my Career, and Scuba Diving... That about sums it up!

Today's experience brought several of my passions together in a single moment of clarity. I was diving with my son off the shore of Kona Hawaii and we were about to enter an underwater lava tube. Overhead diving is the most dangerous type of diving and it was quite a thrill as father and son entered into the unknown together. Apprehension, sure. Concern, you bet. Excitement, more than you know. Here is what I learned.

Whether it is Diving, Career, or Family, each of these can be improved by the lessons of this day.

First lesson, never enter times of apprehension of danger alone, you need the covering of those who care for you and your safety. The first rule of diving is always have a buddy. My son had my back and I had his. We watched each other and it put us at ease in an otherwise hostile and dangerous environment.

Second lesson, trust your training and the training of those you surround yourself with. Training is paramount. My son is well trained and should something have gone bad deep under the waves he would have shifted in a heartbeat from enjoying time with dad to getting dad safely to the surface. I trust him for that and he trusts me.

Third lesson, use your equipment. You see, in diving, maintaining and training with equipment is first priority. Quality equipment can make the difference between life and death and redundancy is part of the program. Two divers, two regulators each, two lights apiece, etc. You don't want to be fifty feet into a pitch black lava tube, sixty feet beneath the waves, and have your light fail!

Forth lesson, it's all equally important and it is the combination of all of it that brings you home. Companionship, trust of others, trust of training and trust of equipment. Whether life or career, each item means security for life. Could I have dove the lava tubes of Kona alone, sure. Perhaps for a lifetime without incident. But what if... Breaking the rules will eventually destroy you and those who love you.

Final lesson, for me, my final passion brings it all together. Faith makes it all worthwhile. Faith brings me the trust of others and the companionship that the human spirit longs for. It gives me the ability to trust and be trusted. It is my equipment for life, helping me with the times of apprehension, fear, and doubt. I approach those difficult moments in life, career and family in the same way I faced the entrance of that lava tube today, with a prayer!

The Right Question

Another Star New Article...

Watch your thoughts; they become words.

Watch your words; they become actions.

Watch your actions; they become habits.

Watch your habits; they become character.

Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

As law enforcement personnel, you have the privilege of seeing behind the curtain of bad decisions – the results of a life of compromise – that eventually ends in arrest, incarceration, or even death.

What a privilege it is, to see on a daily basis what does not work – return to the place and people you call home – and in that place, do the right thing!

I believe that one of the major reasons certain individuals ride the plastic is because they live by a question that, in the moment asks; “What is best for me?” They are not people whom we consider people of character because their focus is on self, not others. When it comes to their lives, they are asking the wrong question.

While we are--for the most part--people of higher character, I would say that many of us are asking the wrong questions as well. When we approach an important decision, because we have asked the wrong question, our character (and our life) is not all it could be. We ask better questions than those in our back seats, but not necessarily the best question. We ask ourselves things like:

Is it legal?

Can I afford it?

Will it hurt anyone else?

While good questions, they are not the best questions. There is a better question, one that will help us live lives marked by impeccable character. The question is:

Is this the wise thing for me to do?

The Apostle Paul in Ephesians 5:15 says; “Be careful how you walk, not as foolish men, but as wise, making the most of your time for the days are evil.”

It is not illegal, or harmful to anyone else to walk on the edge of what is right and wrong, balancing on the side of what is right. But, it is not the wisest thing to do.

It is not illegal, or harmful to anyone else to get an interest only home loan, to see how far we can go with a relationship without slipping, or ignore the small details of a report or investigation, but it is not the wise thing to do.

It is not illegal or harmful to anyone else for us to make entry alone, without backup, but it is definitely not the wise thing to do!

There are many compromises that we can make in life that do not qualify us as bad people, but they disqualify us from being “wise” people. We only need to be wrong once and our character will slip, or in the case of poor tactics, our lives could end.

Most of us would benefit greatly if we asked ourselves with every decision we make; “Is this the wise thing for me to do?” It’s that simple.

It is a question that will allow us to do what is best for ourselves and others every time. We live in a world of compromise. It is a world that says; “Just this once!” We must live above that standard.

“Teach us to make the most of our time, so that we may grow in wisdom. Psalm 90:12”

[Note to non-LEO's: "Ride the Plastic" refers to the plastic seat in the back of the police car]

It's Good to be Home

I was asked to write an encouragement piece for Star News, a law enforcement publication. This article was run shortly after the death of a Los Angeles County Sheriff Deputy and became an important piece. The only article from which I received direct feedback from the Deputies.

Take it from a road warrior; it is good to come home. Don’t misunderstand, there will always be excitement in the journey, but even the journey gets old. Each of us in the human species has needed a vacation from our vacation. As I write, I am in a hotel longing to see my wife and kids. Even Dorothy said; “There’s no place like home” as she tapped her ruby slippers together and grabbed Toto for the journey.

Why is it so good to be home?

Home is familiar. It is safe. Home is a place of security where the unknown gives way to the familiar and love is felt. There are many reason this is so: from the security of the family to the relationship with the neighbors, the support of friends and colleagues, and the unseen protectors who guard our security.

I want to give a shout out to Law Enforcement personnel who add to that feeling of security at home. It is good to know that there are protectors, watching over our neighborhoods and cities, dispatchers who put them to action, and a long list of support personnel that work on their behalf to better equip and support them. Because of them, it is good to be home.

So here I sit in the hotel wishing for the comfort of home. However, down deep, in the deepest parts of my soul, I wish for my REAL HOME. I look forward to the ultimate peace of an eternity with the Lord. As we all have protectors in our neighborhood, ultimately, we all have the same eternal protector. He is a God who loves us and knows us by name. He wants to be involved in our lives. He cares. He is One who is our ultimate protection: the protector of protectors. Let us not forget about Him.

The Psalmist wrote: The Lord is alive! My protector is praiseworthy! The God who delivers me is exalted as king! (Psalm 18:46)

He wants to protect you… You know, out there… In life… May I suggest that you call upon Him from time to time. He has the ability to bring you home.

A God of Justice - A God Who Honors

Here is another article I wrote for Star News, a monthly publication for Law Enforcement personnel.

Our men and women behind the badge face untold challenges. One of those challenges is the battle with resentment. They give their lives to their profession and unfortunately, sometimes, for their profession. They do what they have been sworn to do, and do it professionally. Unfortunately at times, though they did everything right; the book was solid and the evidence clean, the suspect walks. I always thought of this as unfortunate, but recently had an experience that brought that reality to heart. I am called to be a man of peace and love, but I am also a man who wrestles with resentment. I see that the justice system sometimes fails us and evil people walk. The Scriptures tell us about these people in the book of Isaiah.

(Isaiah 59:3-8) Your hands are the hands of murderers, and your fingers are filthy with sin. Your mouth is full of lies, and your lips are tainted with corruption. No one cares about being fair and honest. Their lawsuits are based on lies. They spend their time plotting evil deeds and then doing them. They spend their time and energy spinning evil plans that end up in deadly actions. They cheat and shortchange everyone. Nothing they do is productive; all their activity is filled with sin. Violence is their trademark. Their feet run to do evil, and they rush to commit murder. They think only about sinning. Wherever they go, misery and destruction follow them. They do not know what true peace is or what it means to be just and good. They continually do wrong, and those who follow them cannot experience a moment's peace.

Yet still they walk. Here was my dilemma, my battle to overcome resentment.

One April, our Captain asked me to offer the opening prayer for Law Day (a banquet organized by state and local politicians). This Law Day banquet was to give honor to Law Enforcement Personnel, Court Services, Corrections, Judges, and Attorneys; both Prosecution and Defense.

Through a misunderstanding, I thought that I was opening a “Law Enforcement Appreciation Banquet.” I had my thoughts in order, a prayer that asked God’s protection and blessing upon those I respect, that put their lives on the line to keep us safe. Fifteen minutes before I spoke, I learned that it was not only “Law Enforcement,” but also the lawyers, judges, and defense attorneys. It forced me to love others across difficult boundaries. I had to change the way I think.

I realized that when we do what we are called to do, to the best of our abilities, God is honored. The end results are insignificant to our blessing. God’s is pleased when His children do what He expects them to do, to fight injustice. Whether or not someone else allows them to “walk” has no bearing on the pride of doing it right. Nor does it affect God’s perspective of a job well done!

Supreme Court Justice Horace Gray once informed a man who had appeared before him in a lower court, and had escaped conviction on a technicality, “I know that you are guilty and you know it, and I wish you to remember that one day you will stand before a better and wiser Judge, and that there you will be dealt with according to justice and not according to law.”

Sometimes they get away. Allow God to worry about that. Battle your resentment with the knowledge that you did it right, and that God is pleased.

(1 Peter 2:19) For God is pleased with you when, for the sake of your conscience, you patiently endure unfair treatment.

The Importance of Trust

I was asked to write a short for STAR News, a publication for Law Enforcement Personnel. This piece is on trust.

Any highly successful leader will tell you that the reason they were able to excel in their career, and win the respect of their direct reports, is that they were able to foster an environment of trust. For some this trust came easily, for others it was hard fought and won with time and a proven record. Regardless of the organization you represent, those that look to you as a leader must trust you. If they do not, you will fail as a leader, if they do there is no limit to the possibilities of success.

The problem? The realities of our culture and the many examples of broken trust place the leader in a position where distrust is the norm. For this reason, the leader must make building trust a priority. Trust must be built at all levels to succeed. Allow me to explain.

A man or woman of character builds trust at all levels; those below them, equal to them, and those above. This 360 degree approach comes naturally when one possesses integrity and has the character to respect and honor others.

That mandate to be a 360 degree leader is difficult in Law Enforcement. While it is easy to earn the trust of our superiors and colleagues, it is extremely difficult to earn the trust of the people we serve. While difficult, it is not impossible.

Each of us has a responsibility to earn the trust of others in three specific areas.

First, we must build Interpersonal Trust. Interpersonal trust is build when we keep our word, when our communication with others is civil, respectful and wise. Interpersonal trust is the foot in the door to the development of comprehensive trust. Without it, the other two trust areas are meaningless.

The second area of trust is one of Action or Application. Those we deal with must trust us to do the right thing, regardless of the circumstances. This is most important, especially in our field. We need the trust that we have each other’s back. We must know that one can be counted on when things get crazy. Trust of Action gives others the security that we care for their wellbeing and frees them to care for ours.

The third and final area of trust is Trust in Competency. This third area of trust brings with it a well-rounded relational trust to all parties. It is one thing to know you can trust an individual and their word. A new depth of trust is gained when you can rely on both their word and their deed. Comprehensive trust happens when you can trust their word, their deed, and their competency to accomplish what they set out to do. Competency instills trust. It is the capstone of the trio of trust.

While this triple trust relation is applicable to business, family and any aspect of life, it is clearly brought to reality with the following law enforcement example.

You have served for years with a fellow deputy that affirms that they will always be there for you. They have always kept their word, affirmed you on the job and encouraged you with their words. You have interpersonal trust! Eventually, you find yourself on the same shift and you roll to the same call. You enter a building with limited visibility, gun drawn, tactical light on, and he or she is right there at your side. You now have Trust of Action and the trust relationship deepens. Finally, the events of the night go south, you take fire. Your partner returns fire, as do you. His or her aim is impeccable and both of you get to go home tonight. You have Trust of Competency!

No matter how you apply trust, no matter the situation, all three areas are necessary to truly be a trustworthy partner. On the street, in the workplace, or most importantly in the home, you must work on trust.

I recently spoke with a newly married couple and grew in my respect for the husband. She had been married before and I admired them both as I heard the wife say: “He tells me he loves me all the time, and he shows me as well. He does the nicest things for me. He let’s me see his love for me. Not only that, he has the ability to love. My first husband, though I think he tried, did not have the ability to love anyone but himself.”

I saw it immediately: Interpersonal Trust, Trust of Action and Trust of Competency, a truly healthy relationship.

For the LORD God is my shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly. O LORD, blessed is the man that trusts in you. (Psalms 84:11-12)

Choosing to Cope or to Live

I was once again asked to write a 400 word piece for Star News, a publication for Law Enforcement Personnel. Here is my latest piece dealing with stress.

We work in a world of extremes. So much so that we are sometimes genuinely surprised, albeit rare, by a day when nothing happens. We need those days. The reality of this job however, is that it can be stressful. Very stressful. Not just for those in the field but for all. How you deal with that stress can determine your ability to cope as well as your longevity. It is interesting how many of us have said that our goal is to make it home. Very few of us have ever said we want to finish well. The first has a forward-looking vision of ten hours, the later looks to the life we will have beyond the career.

If you think about stress management in terms of coping (short term) and longevity (long term) certain important factors become apparent. If you are trying to “cope” you can deal with the temporary effects of stress in harmful ways. If you are looking to last, stress must be handled in productive ways. We must make every effort to deal with our stressors in a way that both helps us cope and builds strength, health and longevity.

Here’s what I mean. Look at the coping factors. Each of them might help you deal with the stresses in the immediate but will have a detrimental effect on the long term.

Short term, harmful, coping mechanisms may include: Overeating (or non-nutritional), alcohol, smoking, extreme activities, or other forms of binging.

These will help you cope, but they will not help you finish well. Consider dealing with stress in positive ways that do both; help you cope and help you last.

Long term, helpful, coping mechanisms may include: Healthy eating, exercise, prayer and meditation, a hobby, and music.

I know one individual that began attending religious services with his wife. He had always thought, “that’s her thing” but soon realized that the comfort, life truths and family unity that he found there did more to curtail his stress than any prior practice. Besides, he became a better person.

Why settle for something to get you through a day when you have the ability to chose something that will get you through life.

As I write, I think of a starving man, frustrated by the fact that he has been living at the side of a lake full of fish but has failed to catch a single one. He is nearly dead from starvation. Meanwhile, a man approaches offering him either a fish, or a fishing pole. With the desperation that only a starving man could understand, he chooses the fish.

HINT: Choose the pole!

Everything with Excellence

(Once again, I was asked to draft a 400 word article for STAR News, a publication for Law Enforcement Personnel. This piece is on excellence.)

A few years back, we purchased a computer desk for my son’s bedroom. The conversation went something like this: “Instructions? Who needs instructions? I know exactly how to do it, and don’t need a piece of paper to put it all together. I surely don’t need anyone looking over my shoulder as I do it. Trust me, I’ve got it handled.”

You can imagine my wife’s amusement after it was all said and done, and it looked pretty good, but there were four bolts, several nuts, and a couple of wood dowels left over. The conversation shifted from the confident boasting to a less-than-confident self-assurance: “Those must be extra parts… Anyway, it looks perfect. I am sure it will be just fine.”

Life is much like that day of building furniture. Full of opportunities to shortcut our actions without anyone knowing and ripe with the ability to make things look perfect though we know they are not. The reality is that we can get by with those behaviors for some time. In fact, we could live there if we wanted to. But the hard reality, especially for our sworn personnel, is that we can die there as well.

Aside from the fact that each of us should take delight in a job well done, it is the right thing to do. Doing everything with excellence makes us complete and allows us to work and live with a confidence and assurance that surpasses our colleagues. It allows us to stand above the rest. Whether it is with promotion in mind, or just living right, living a life free of shortcuts assures the professionalism and excellence that our department (and more importantly, our family) expects. We lead by example and doing things right establishes our leadership.

The scriptures admonish us to do everything with excellence. God himself realizes that a life of excellence makes us complete. I also believe it keeps us from danger. In the apostle Paul’s letter to the Colossians he writes:

And whatever you do, do it with excellence, as unto the Lord, and not unto men.

Remember to wear your badge with the pride of a job well done. Whether it be the badge titled Mom, Dad, Husband, Wife, Friend, Partner, Deputy or simply the badge title Human Being, do not let that badge become tarnished with a life filled with shortcuts.